Feb 10
Wow, I feel bloated and gross.
Every day I wake up thinking to myself, ‘this will be the day I get back on track’ and then that motivation fades and I end up eating horribly.
I just don’t know how to get my inspiration back.
Oh and I got out of breath today from taking walk. Yes, that’s all I did – take a simple stroll.
I need something to kick my butt back into gear.
I’m going to do some brainstorming and then I’ll report back with my ideas…
Jan 12
I’ve realized that I need to heal myself from within. If I’m truly going to lose weight for good and not yo-yo diet for the rest of my life, I need to heal.
I need to heal my…
emotions
pain
depression
lack of self-esteem
self-loathing
I need to heal my feelings of unworthiness and realize that having a happy, healthy life is worth fighting for.
Its easy to fall back on old habits, to lose touch with why I want to lose weight.
Its also easy to just let life pass by. But I don’t want to live that way.
There is so much to do, see, explore and I want to be healthy enough my entire life in order to participate in my life.
So I need to heal myself. I need to figure out why I let my inner emotions use food to cope.
Jul 16
Do you let others or society be the ones who determine your self-worth?
Think about this question deeply for a few moments. If you happen to be a person who feels that you have low self-esteem, or tends to feel inferior, unworthy, incapable, or just generally down on yourself, then ask yourself why?
And yes, why is it that some people must feel this way? Why does there seem to be something that could be likened to a caste system with regards to the way people feel “classified?” There’s so many judgments and stereotypes that permeate our culture. Many of these can be described by adjectives like pretty, ugly, fat, skinny, smart, stupid, rich, poor, mean, nice, black, white, young, old, fast, slow, and on, and on, and on.
And if you are one who associates with the feelings above, maybe it’s time to recognize really what sort of nonsense these stereotypes and labels really are. Maybe it’s time to work on a way to give these connotations absolutely no meaning or relevance in your own mind.
First of all, you are not defined by what someone else thinks or what society says. Majority does not rule your perceptions – you rule your perceptions, and they can become even more clear and unadulterated once you strive to extract the years of conditioning and influence that may have shaped some aspect of your persona.
Let’s look at it this way. Were you ever told that you weren’t good enough to fit into a certain club, class, team, job, or something of that sort? All of us have at some point. How did you take it at the time? Did you feel that maybe they were right? Did you tell yourself that maybe you really aren’t that good, because otherwise, you would have been accepted into whatever it was that you tried to become a part of?
That right there is an example of how another’s opinion or bias could have been affecting your perception of yourself. Perhaps this happened repeatedly over time, which just seemed to reinforce the notion. So over time, you began to associate yourself as being unworthy or undesirable, just because others may have made you feel that way.
Could it be that you have been letting others determine your self-worth?
In our society, there is a large focus on externalities. There’s a sense of endless striving and competition with regards to external status or achievement. The newest gadget comes out, and you’re almost made to think that you just won’t be “cool” unless you get it. The latest fashion comes out, and you feel like you can’t even be caught dead in the new top you bought only six months ago. You may drive an old car that is reliable and was paid off long ago, but you feel inclined to buy a new one just to keep up with “the times.”
With regards to appearance, you see the skinny models on the runway, and you may feel inferior to them because you don’t weigh 95 pounds. After all, they’re the ones on the runway, so you may think that they must be the epitome of perfect beauty, right?
That’s what “they” may want you to think. But who are they to try to dictate who you are and how you feel? They are not the authority on what makes a person beautiful.
You create your own reality, so if you work toward extracting all of these old, ingrained thought patterns from it, you can start to break free from this kind of subconscious oppression.
That’s why we feel it’s so important to keep an open mind about everything. Many times we were taught to not ask questions and to do as we were told. But why can’t we ask questions? After all, that’s how we can establish our points of view and the things that seem to make sense to us.
And that’s one way how you can start to enhance your self-worth and confidence – by questioning and scrutinizing those negative feelings about yourself that you may have been bound to.
You say you feel unworthy? Unworthy of what? Why do you feel that way? What have you done to cause you to give yourself this label? Is it because of others’ opinions? Who are “they?” What sort of authority are they? Do they hold a status in society higher than you that gives them the capability to infallibly declare that you are unworthy? Where did these feelings originally come from? How long have they been there? What may have reinforced them?
There may be nearly endless questions that can help you analyze what may really be behind these feelings.
There may be many that you don’t even have an answer to – and that’s okay, because that could be just another reason pointing toward how it is unnecessary and how there is no reason for you to feel bound to these thoughts.
Okay, this has gotten a bit deep, and you may be a bit wary to chart these waters any further at this point. And that is okay. The intention of this was to spark some thought and to help you start to question, recognize, and really think about some of the negative ideas about yourself that you may have associated with yourself for so long, with the end result of realizing that they are just totally inaccurate and can eventually be disposed of.
Part of the evolution of life involves learning more about yourself. Don’t be afraid to really look deep within, even if it seems a bit frightening at first. The great thing is that you will see just how wonderful, intelligent, talented, compassionate, and beautiful you really are. You just need your own clear eyes, and not the distortions created by others. You will love what you see, and will realize that you are worth more than you could ever imagine.
If you are a person who is struggling with achieving weight loss or fighting a constant battle against overeating, you may think there are a few options: go on a super-disciplined personal training program, take diet pills, check yourself into a food disorders rehab, get surgery, or strictly follow the next “miracle” diet.
As good as these may work for some, reality is, they may not work for you. And that may be exactly the thought running through your mind. You might be thinking: “Why even bother? I just can’t do it?”
But that may be your brain just trying to trick you one more time. The simple fact is…
You can do it. Everyone can do it. It’s just that the “it” that may be slightly different for everyone. Let me explain…
There is no reason why you, yes you, can’t become a healthier person who can lose weight and reach your personal balance.
Now I’m not saying that the weight loss options mentioned above are not good or should never be used by anyone. What I am saying is that many people may not even get to the point of embarking on the gradual road to true success because they feel they just can’t do it. In other words, they may have lost the will to try new things, because diets or strategies past just did not work.
But could it be that maybe one reason they didn’t work was because you were applying someone else’s strict plan to yourself and trying to fudge your way through, instead of developing your own plan and making it work?
If you’re as stubborn as I am, you may not like to do things someone else’s way. You don’t want to be told that you have to follow this plan, step on that scale, go to this meeting, check in to that place, or eat that meal bar. It may subconsciously make you feel fat, diseased, and like an outcast from society. Now I’m not saying to sugarcoat your potential issues and neglect to realize that there may be some things within you that need fixing. Instead, I’m saying that sometimes having to be treated “special” or like an “addict” can sometimes weigh on your psyche, because you just want to be treated normal, like everyone else.
Now there are some situations where the options mentioned above are a person’s only choice, so I can’t stress enough that I am not demonizing these types of programs. I am just suggesting that if you are having a really tough time with getting yourself aligned with one of them, then there may be some things to think about…
There is a strength within us all that can guide us through the toughest of times toward a light at the end of the tunnel. The form of this strength may be different for each of us, but it is there. And it may not be anything you can concretely define. It is just a driving force that keeps us going full speed ahead on the path to victory and joy.
So where can you find this strength? It may be elusive until you really start to recognize it. Some of us may not even realize it until we start to reflect toward our inner selves.
Even though it may be hard in some instances, try to take some time in the very near future to be still and think about one of the most challenging situations you have ever faced. There are some things of which you may not wish to go back to, so if so, then maybe think of situation that may not be depressing, but instead empowering.
For example, if you were an honor student in college who pulled off a 4.0 average during the pursuit of a Masters degree, all-the-while working full-time to put yourself through this education, then look back at that astonishing achievement. Obviously, that is not a simple task to pull off. Not only did you have an enormous amount of responsibility on your shoulders – responsibility that took incredible self-discipline – you ensured that you succeeded to the absolute best of your ability. That success was measured and rewarded by the 4.0 grade average and the accompanying designation of Honors.
When you look back, can you distinctly recognize the strength that kept you going? Probably not. But what you can recognize is that it exists, and it was there.
Now you do not have to be a college graduate to have this kind of strength. This was just a random example. Let’s look at another one.
Were you ever a smoker and quit for good? For many people, this can be quite a triumph which takes a great deal of strength.
Can you draw upon that past experience?
What about anything else you have worked very hard for? Did you work your way up in your company, without getting the same education as your counterparts in similar roles? What sort of things did you do to make such a remarkable achievement?
Have you raised children? Have you volunteered for difficult assignments for charities or other rewarding avenues? Have you seen the difference that you made in people’s lives? Do you struggle with depression or a chronic affliction, but still muster up the energy and strength to keep yourself going and living a productive life?
There are countless examples of how the strength within us can, and is, harnessed. Look for those examples within yourself, and you will certainly find it.
So when you find it, what can you do with it?
You can apply it to be the source of your gradual achievement of overall equilibrium and balance. In other words, it can be the driving force that keeps you on the path. It can be what helps form the transition away from negativity and its associated unhealthy habits, and on toward a healthy balance.
It is what you can harness to develop what works for you – a plan that integrates well with your unique situation and persona. It is something you can feel good about, because it feels right for you. It allows you to see more clearly, and can wash away all the feelings that muddled your outlook.
This strength within you can do anything. Harness it, and you will succeed.
Have you ever stopped for a moment and thought about how conditioning may affect us all? What exactly is conditioning? Does it really apply to our lives?
From my experiences, this isn’t really a widely discussed topic, but it is something that I feel is intricately weaved within most of our lives, a lot of the time without us really realizing it. But once we do realize it, we have the opportunity to reverse it and start on a direction toward freedom from the whims of unwanted habits, the whims of society, and the will that it and others unconsciously force upon us every day.
To start though, by no means am I suggesting that realizing this relieves a person from taking accountability for many things that he or she has experienced or contributed to inflicting up him- or herself. Taking the stance of being a victim can only lead to powerlessness, which is contrary to the sense of empowerment which can accelerate your progress toward the life and habitual changes that you seek.
But to understand the powers that be is another thing. Understanding that they can consciously and unconsciously influence your behavior and thought patterns and understanding what they are is imperative toward weeding them out from yourself and declaring your independence. Realizing their influence and realizing how these influences can weave themselves into what you have control over and the actions that you take can be a very motivating factor to establish your defenses against them. This can be very empowering and can help you plant your own roots deeper into the soils of your beautiful inner self, your true belief systems, your true happiness, and not someone else’s whims.
From my point of view, conditioning is the result of human societies and others’ desire for money, desire for control, and desire for power. It can be the product of group “consensus,” superstitions, doctrines, traditions, habits, education, and a vast myriad of other systems. It can be good, it can be neutral, and it can be bad. Conditioning is very apparent in almost every aspect of life, and after all, we have to learn somehow.
So I am not going to label it really as anything in particular, and I especially don’t like to look at things as only good or bad, black and white, this or that, friend or enemy, or anything totally exclusive of one another.
It follows that conditioning is no exception. It acts in a very good way, for example, when we were conditioned as young children to always look both ways before crossing the street. The ingrained habit that resulted keeps us safe, most of the time without us realizing its influence. Out of this habit, we barely even think about it every time we come to a crosswalk. We “just do it” and cross.
The same goes for those of us who learned how to drive. We learned that red means “stop,” and green means “go.” How many times do we pass right through a green light, or stop at a red one, without really thinking about it? We don’t really need to exert much though into it. We “just do it,” because we have reinforced that habit for so long that it just comes natural.
Well, that is a good way to look at the conditioning that has affected us in not as good of ways. With these habits that may be detrimental to our well-being, we “just do them” because we have reinforced them for so long that they just seem to come natural. We can’t really get ourselves to think there is any other way. I mean, could you ever imagine stopping at a green light? In the case of safety, it certainly wouldn’t be advised, and it certainly would take a lot to get over the impulse to go right through it.
Enter the world of food. As everyone has been eating it ever since they have been alive, this is obviously an important habit for every person and every other species on earth. It is what keeps us going, gives us sustenance, nutrition, and much more. It is what allows for our existence.
The biological impulse to eat is one of the most primal drives that we have. It is what, in our ancestral times, kept us on the move. It kept us in pursuit of survival. It was our instinct to scour the land to find enough for ourselves and others within our community. It was likely not as abundant as now, was likely much more simple and limited in variety, and there, in the earliest times, was likely no profit motive behind the distribution of it.
That impulse and instinct – hunger – has not really biologically changed within us over thousands of years. But the way food is cultivated, produced, manipulated, advertised, distributed, and sold sure has! Furthermore, the types of foods available to us certainly has as well!
During this evolution in the world of food, the by-product of habitual conditioning has resulted – a by-product which latches onto our most instinctual drive and can help create deeply ingrained thought-patterns, behaviors, emotions, and even obsessions. Left unchecked, left misunderstood, or left powerless to them, the mind and its conscious behaviors can compel a person to react in certain ways around food – certain ways which can contribute to unhealthy habits. This is one way to view conditioning, and a good starting point for you, if you feel that you have trouble with how you react to food, to begin to become part of an ongoing discussion about this, and a good starting point for you to condition yourself away from what you may determine is bad for you, and toward something brighter.
Diets, weight loss plans, pills, cardio workouts…have you had enough? Do you strive and struggle with kicking off those extra pounds, or do you find that you just seem to fall into habits that you have trouble escaping?
Well, you certainly aren’t the only one out there who feels the same way!
Just scouring the web for the latest and greatest plan to help achieve the weight that you are longing for can be daunting. You see the pumped up fitness guru taunting his plan to get fit in 10 days. Or, you see the pop up ad come up for the latest pill that promises to get you slim effortlessly.
What about the diets that have you radically change the way you eat and demand that the only way to get to where you want to be is by eating only their products, which at the same time tend to be expensive?
The 30-day this, the eat only that – lose it, gain it back. Enough!
Now I’m not saying that all diets or weight loss plans are bad – some of them work for some people some of the time. As a result, they can be quite beneficial for them.
But if you feel you don’t concur with this notion, then what can you do? Are you doomed to feel the way you do forever?
Sometimes you may feel that is true, but that is a notion that must be smashed! Get it out of your head the best you can. You are not doomed, you are not a failure, and your best self can be just around the corner.
You may now be thinking: “Oh, here we go again, here’s where they want to try to sell me more empty promises and put me back on the rollercoaster. Is this just one more futile effort to lose weight?”
Think again. The goal that we strive to achieve is to continually shed some light on what we believe can really make the difference between a weight loss rollercoaster (with all its ups and downs) and lasting, sustainable, life-long healthy habits.
So let’s start to chip away at the pre-existing notion of weight loss right now. Eventually, this notion can be transformed. Where this transformation begins is within yourself.
Stop for a moment and think about what you may have been focusing on in the past. Did it seem like the way out was to follow a new eating plan – one that promised to get the pounds off quick? Didn’t it seem like that’s all that mattered? Did you think: “Once I get thin again, then all my problems will be solved and I will feel better?”
Yes, the grandeur of that is appealing. You may have felt that because you had some pounds to shed, that you were just unattractive, unworthy, unfit, and maybe just plain unhappy, so that glimmering light of your “beautiful self” being just X number of pounds away was the road to joy.
But when those diets failed, did you feel like you failed, and found yourself right back at square one? You may have thought: “What’s the matter with me? Why do I feel so helpless to change? Maybe I’m just defective?”
Nonsense to all of this! You are not unattractive, unworthy, or unfit. You are not helpless, and most of all, you are not defective!
It could be though that what you were focusing on had a bit of a defect. This may have skewed your thinking into believing all these things. And that certainly doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you!
It could be the approach that you were continuing to strive for that had a bit of a flaw.
So what if you took the emphasis off quick weight loss as being the number one goal, and instead looked at things from the inside out, instead of from the outside in. Instead of thinking “when I get thin, then maybe I will feel better,” how about trying to think “when I work on what’s inside (in other words, the emotions, thoughts, and habits that are weighing you down), and focus on feeling better emotionally, then the weight loss will naturally follow?”
Come again?!? Doesn’t this sound foreign? Has it been tested? I’ve never heard of this approach before, so how can I be sure it works?
Forget all the advertising and forget all of its conditioning – it logically follows that when you work toward achieving a healthy equilibrium of mind, body, and spirit, that physical health usually follows.
And furthermore, we’re not here to put you on another “plan” that must be followed with exactness. We don’t believe in a “one-size-fits-all-approach.”
What we are here to do is to provide a robust discussion about the nature of overeating – the emotions, the behaviors, the obsessions, the compulsions, the negative triggers, the habits, and the rest of the spiral. But as we discuss these, we will also be heavily focusing on ideas, solutions, and information, all with a tone of positivity and compassion – stuff with which you can incorporate into your own personal journey toward life-long sustainability and equilibrium. And this is the goal that we want to help you achieve. And we’re in it with you!
So we feel it’s not all about a generic plan that needs to be perfectly applied to everyone. Instead, we feel it’s about finding, establishing, nurturing, and maintaining your own path, or in other words, your own personal journey toward freedom.
All it takes is some understanding, some determination, an open mind, and an embrace of your potential. And you have it! Everyone has it!
So don’t look back. Just because you may have struggled in the past, doesn’t mean that projects toward the future. Instead, this can be the first moment of your journey – the journey toward your long-term success.
And we invite you to join us as we continue on this journey ourselves! And as always, feel free to add to the discussion, as this is going to be an ever-evolving work. Check back often for updates!
I’m so very excited. I have this awesome pair of dress pants that I wore on my first date with my now fiance. I always adored these pants and after gaining weight they were too tight, like way too tight. And I haven’t been able to wear them since that first date six years ago.
It was always one of my mini-goals to fit back into those pants and therefore again be the size I was when my fiance and I first met. I didn’t think I’d be able to wear them for another couple months.
Well, I tried them on last night and they fit!
I think its so important for you to have these mini-goals (other than just numbers on the scale) because they are what can really drive you to success. And it feels that much better when you accomplish them.
So what are some of your mini-goals?
1. “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”
Jack London
US adventurer, author, & sailor (1876 – 1916)
2. “We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.”
Frank Tibolt
3. “I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.”
Anna Freud
Austrian psychoanalyst & psychologist (1895 – 1982)
4. “If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
US essayist & poet (1803 – 1882)
5. “Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.”
Samuel Johnson
English author, critic, & lexicographer (1709 – 1784)
6. “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.”
Abraham Lincoln
16th president of US (1809 – 1865)
7. “The person who makes a success of living is the one who see his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication.”
Cecil B. DeMille
US movie producer (1881 – 1959)
8. “There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.”
Christopher Morley
US author & journalist (1890 – 1957)
9. “Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”
William James
US Pragmatist philosopher & psychologist (1842 – 1910)
10. “A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.”
Patricia Neal
“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.”
~ Frank Tibolt
Jun 12
Ok, I have to make this super quick but I’m so excited – I lost 5 pounds this week! So now the total is 45 pounds lost, woohoo!!
What feels even better is that I’ve been in such a terrible funk lately and I was really starting to doubt myself and if I could push through. (You’ll definitely know what I mean if you read my last post.) Well, I did push through and it feels glorious.
I spent the last week in the beautiful forest of Northern Arizona and I did a lot of soul searching as well as some kick-my-butt hikes. Its amazing how being in nature can really clear your head.
I also had a huge cry-my-eyes-out fest that I’ll have to write more about over the next couple days and I really gained a ton a clarity from feeling sorry for myself and then realizing that I really shouldn’t feel sorry for myself anymore.
So now I feel refreshed and ready to tackle the world. I feel back on track with my eating and walking plans and I feel confident that I can just continue to push right through to my goals.
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