Diet Renegade

Follow me as I eat real food, stop binge eating, and lose 100 pounds

Archive for category Attitude

Down but definitely not out

Feb 9

Posted by Gina in Attitude, Compulsive Overeating, Emotional Eating, Finding Your Way, Inspiration | No Comments

I haven’t been around this blog in months. Yeah, I’ve posted a video here, a recipe there, but I stopped really pouring my heart out several months ago.

Why? I don’t really know. I guess I probably gave up on myself…again.

I’ve come up with a bunch of excuses like – my wedding was coming up and I was too stressed out to blog, or that my wedding was over and I was de-stressing by stuffing my face with cheese puffs and pizza. You know, perfectly legitimate excuses.

Well I’ve had enough of my self-loathing.

I must admit to you that in the past few months, especially after my wedding, I’ve just completely let myself and my restraint go. I have absolutely no idea how much weight I’ve gained (I really, really, really don’t want to know but very soon I’m going to have to find out.)

I’ve literally been eating everything in sight. About three days out of every week I typically eat at least two meals at fast food ‘restaurants.’ And I just can’t tell you what is going on.

I know that I need to get back on track in a major way, but I’m lacking the motivation to change. But I’m thinking that I can’t take to many more days of feeling like a whale, I just feel gross.

So, my plan is to just blog about my experiences whether good or bad.

In the past I only wanted to blog when I was being ‘good.’ I guess I was trying to impress you? I don’t know what I was thinking but that’s just stupid.

I mean, so many people could benefit from my ups and downs so I need to write it all.

And I don’t want to come across like I’m putting myself on this pedestal and that I have all the answers and everyone should listen to me.

Quite the contrary.

I don’t have any answers really. I struggle with my weight year after year. And its in this struggle that I’m hoping to connect with others. If I can get through the good and bad times by writing out what my experiences are, than hopefully any insight that I may gain can go back out to you.

And this goes both ways too.

As a blog, this website can gladly welcome comments on every post and we can create this huge support network of wonderful ideas. And we can also just be there for each other.

We all know how incredibly difficult it is to lose weight. Especially when that amount gets above 50 or 100 pounds.

When you are in that boat, most days its hard to just find someone that understands.

Well I understand, and I’m here.

So from now on, I’ll just keep on bloggin…

Tags:

I Just Ate 24 Mini Donuts – Reflections for a Better Year Ahead

Dec 31

Posted by Gina in Attitude, Compulsive Overeating, Emotional Eating, Food Obsession | No Comments

I usually don’t like, and therefore don’t make, New Year’s resolutions.

However, after eating 24 mini donuts today (yes, you really did read that correctly), I figured maybe this year was the year to start.

I honestly don’t know how I got to this point. Binge eating, compulsive overeating, emotional eating, junk food addiction – I suppose I’ve let it all take over my life. Why? I unfortunately don’t know.

But that my friends is my New Year’s Resolution for 2010.

I am going to get to the bottom of all my food issues. I know I really need to dig deep and hold nothing back if I’m ever going to lead a normal, healthy life.

I plan on documenting everything on this blog – the good, the bad, and the oh so very ugly. It will be hard and embarassing of course. But I am worth it.

Happy New Year everyone – I wish you a year of happiness above all!

What are your New Year’s resolutions this year?

Tags: , ,

Establishing Your Self-Worth

Jul 16

Posted by Jason in Attitude, Confidence, Feeling Beautiful, Inspiration, Motivation, Negative Emotions | No Comments

Do you let others or society be the ones who determine your self-worth?

Think about this question deeply for a few moments.  If you happen to be a person who feels that you have low self-esteem, or tends to feel inferior, unworthy, incapable, or just generally down on yourself, then ask yourself why?

And yes, why is it that some people must feel this way?  Why does there seem to be something that could be likened to a caste system with regards to the way people feel “classified?”  There’s so many judgments and stereotypes that permeate our culture.  Many of these can be described by adjectives like pretty, ugly, fat, skinny, smart, stupid, rich, poor, mean, nice, black, white, young, old, fast, slow, and on, and on, and on.

And if you are one who associates with the feelings above, maybe it’s time to recognize really what sort of nonsense these stereotypes and labels really are.  Maybe it’s time to work on a way to give these connotations absolutely no meaning or relevance in your own mind.

First of all, you are not defined by what someone else thinks or what society says.  Majority does not rule your perceptions – you rule your perceptions, and they can become even more clear and unadulterated once you strive to extract the years of conditioning and influence that may have shaped some aspect of your persona.

Let’s look at it this way.  Were you ever told that you weren’t good enough to fit into a certain club, class, team, job, or something of that sort?  All of us have at some point.  How did you take it at the time?  Did you feel that maybe they were right?  Did you tell yourself that maybe you really aren’t that good, because otherwise, you would have been accepted into whatever it was that you tried to become a part of?

That right there is an example of how another’s opinion or bias could have been affecting your perception of yourself.  Perhaps this happened repeatedly over time, which just seemed to reinforce the notion.  So over time, you began to associate yourself as being unworthy or undesirable, just because others may have made you feel that way.

Could it be that you have been letting others determine your self-worth?

In our society, there is a large focus on externalities.  There’s a sense of endless striving and competition with regards to external status or achievement.  The newest gadget comes out, and you’re almost made to think that you just won’t be “cool” unless you get it.  The latest fashion comes out, and you feel like you can’t even be caught dead in the new top you bought only six months ago.  You may drive an old car that is reliable and was paid off long ago, but you feel inclined to buy a new one just to keep up with “the times.”

With regards to appearance, you see the skinny models on the runway, and you may feel inferior to them because you don’t weigh 95 pounds.  After all, they’re the ones on the runway, so you may think that they must be the epitome of perfect beauty, right?

That’s what “they” may want you to think.  But who are they to try to dictate who you are and how you feel?  They are not the authority on what makes a person beautiful.

You create your own reality, so if you work toward extracting all of these old, ingrained thought patterns from it, you can start to break free from this kind of subconscious oppression.

That’s why we feel it’s so important to keep an open mind about everything.  Many times we were taught to not ask questions and to do as we were told.  But why can’t we ask questions?  After all, that’s how we can establish our points of view and the things that seem to make sense to us.

And that’s one way how you can start to enhance your self-worth and confidence – by questioning and scrutinizing those negative feelings about yourself that you may have been bound to.

You say you feel unworthy?  Unworthy of what?  Why do you feel that way?  What have you done to cause you to give yourself this label?  Is it because of others’ opinions?  Who are “they?”  What sort of authority are they?  Do they hold a status in society higher than you that gives them the capability to infallibly declare that you are unworthy?  Where did these feelings originally come from?  How long have they been there?  What may have reinforced them?

There may be nearly endless questions that can help you analyze what may really be behind these feelings.

There may be many that you don’t even have an answer to – and that’s okay, because that could be just another reason pointing toward how it is unnecessary and how there is no reason for you to feel bound to these thoughts.

Okay, this has gotten a bit deep, and you may be a bit wary to chart these waters any further at this point.  And that is okay.  The intention of this was to spark some thought and to help you start to question, recognize, and really think about some of the negative ideas about yourself that you may have associated with yourself for so long, with the end result of realizing that they are just totally inaccurate and can eventually be disposed of.

Part of the evolution of life involves learning more about yourself.  Don’t be afraid to really look deep within, even if it seems a bit frightening at first.  The great thing is that you will see just how wonderful, intelligent, talented, compassionate, and beautiful you really are.  You just need your own clear eyes, and not the distortions created by others.  You will love what you see, and will realize that you are worth more than you could ever imagine.

Tags: , , ,

You Can Do It In Your Own Way and Succeed!

Jul 14

Posted by Jason in Attitude, Confidence, Finding Your Way, Inspiration, Motivation | No Comments

If you are a person who is struggling with achieving weight loss or fighting a constant battle against overeating, you may think there are a few options:  go on a super-disciplined personal training program, take diet pills, check yourself into a food disorders rehab, get surgery, or strictly follow the next “miracle” diet.

As good as these may work for some, reality is, they may not work for you.  And that may be exactly the thought running through your mind.  You might be thinking:  “Why even bother?  I just can’t do it?”
But that may be your brain just trying to trick you one more time.  The simple fact is…

You can do it.  Everyone can do it.  It’s just that the “it” that may be slightly different for everyone.  Let me explain…

There is no reason why you, yes you, can’t become a healthier person who can lose weight and reach your personal balance.

Now I’m not saying that the weight loss options mentioned above are not good or should never be used by anyone.  What I am saying is that many people may not even get to the point of embarking on the gradual road to true success because they feel they just can’t do it.  In other words, they may have lost the will to try new things, because diets or strategies past just did not work.

But could it be that maybe one reason they didn’t work was because you were applying someone else’s strict plan to yourself and trying to fudge your way through, instead of developing your own plan and making it work?

If you’re as stubborn as I am, you may not like to do things someone else’s way.  You don’t want to be told that you have to follow this plan, step on that scale, go to this meeting, check in to that place, or eat that meal bar.  It may subconsciously make you feel fat, diseased, and like an outcast from society.  Now I’m not saying to sugarcoat your potential issues and neglect to realize that there may be some things within you that need fixing.  Instead, I’m saying that sometimes having to be treated “special” or like an “addict” can sometimes weigh on your psyche, because you just want to be treated normal, like everyone else.

Now there are some situations where the options mentioned above are a person’s only choice, so I can’t stress enough that I am not demonizing these types of programs.  I am just suggesting that if you are having a really tough time with getting yourself aligned with one of them, then there may be some things to think about…

There is a strength within us all that can guide us through the toughest of times toward a light at the end of the tunnel.  The form of this strength may be different for each of us, but it is there.  And it may not be anything you can concretely define.  It is just a driving force that keeps us going full speed ahead on the path to victory and joy.

So where can you find this strength?  It may be elusive until you really start to recognize it.  Some of us may not even realize it until we start to reflect toward our inner selves.

Even though it may be hard in some instances, try to take some time in the very near future to be still and think about one of the most challenging situations you have ever faced.  There are some things of which you may not wish to go back to, so if so, then maybe think of situation that may not be depressing, but instead empowering.

For example, if you were an honor student in college who pulled off a 4.0 average during the pursuit of a Masters degree, all-the-while working full-time to put yourself through this education, then look back at that astonishing achievement.  Obviously, that is not a simple task to pull off.  Not only did you have an enormous amount of responsibility on your shoulders – responsibility that took incredible self-discipline – you ensured that you succeeded to the absolute best of your ability.  That success was measured and rewarded by the 4.0 grade average and the accompanying designation of Honors.

When you look back, can you distinctly recognize the strength that kept you going?  Probably not.  But what you can recognize is that it exists, and it was there.

Now you do not have to be a college graduate to have this kind of strength.  This was just a random example.  Let’s look at another one.

Were you ever a smoker and quit for good?  For many people, this can be quite a triumph which takes a great deal of strength.

Can you draw upon that past experience?

What about anything else you have worked very hard for?  Did you work your way up in your company, without getting the same education as your counterparts in similar roles?  What sort of things did you do to make such a remarkable achievement?

Have you raised children?  Have you volunteered for difficult assignments for charities or other rewarding avenues?  Have you seen the difference that you made in people’s lives?  Do you struggle with depression or a chronic affliction, but still muster up the energy and strength to keep yourself going and living a productive life?

There are countless examples of how the strength within us can, and is, harnessed.  Look for those examples within yourself, and you will certainly find it.

So when you find it, what can you do with it?

You can apply it to be the source of your gradual achievement of overall equilibrium and balance.  In other words, it can be the driving force that keeps you on the path.  It can be what helps form the transition away from negativity and its associated unhealthy habits, and on toward a healthy balance.

It is what you can harness to develop what works for you – a plan that integrates well with your unique situation and persona.  It is something you can feel good about, because it feels right for you.  It allows you to see more clearly, and can wash away all the feelings that muddled your outlook.

This strength within you can do anything.  Harness it, and you will succeed.

Tags: , , ,

But I’m Not Addicted to Food!

Jul 13

Posted by Jason in Attitude, Compulsive Overeating, Emotional Eating, Food Obsession | 1 Comment

The word “addiction” can bring up some pretty harsh connotations.  When some think of this word, the idea of a skid-row heroin junkie or an image of a crystal-meth addict scratching away at open sores on his skin may be the first things that come to mind.  So when you’re reading about food addiction or obsession, you may be left in a bit of disbelief, because you know you don’t fit into those descriptions, so you may be thinking that this whole idea of being addicted to food is just a myth.  After all, how can you become addicted to something which you need to sustain yourself?  Food is a necessity, so you can’t just “quit” it entirely like other substances.

So let’s start by saying first of all, it can be wise to get rid of any labels or negative stereotypes that may have been placed upon the idea of addiction and the people who are afflicted by it in one way or another.  Yes, the previous examples are pretty extreme, and yes, people in those sorts of situations may have gotten themselves in too deep.  But to label them as “skid row bums” or “a waste of space” does no good.  Instead, it may only reinforce these notions, and can help bring about feelings of worthlessness, inferiority, weakness, and a myriad of other connotations.  If you feel certain kinds of food may be presenting a problem for you, then try not to let these labels influence your self-opinion or esteem.  Potentially damaging it even more by blanketing stigmas can only set you back.  Each person and his or her circumstances are different, and no one can make a sound judgment about you and tell you what you are, except for yourself.

One thing that you will see often throughout this blog is how we feel about labels and societal stigmas.  We feel these tend to work against people, and are unnecessary forms of negativity and distraction that stem from ignorance, apathy, misinformation, among other things.  We suggest trying to put them outside of your realm of consciousness the best that you can, so that you can try to approach any challenges or goals with your own personal clarity and confidence, without these pointless distractions getting in your way.

Anyways, now that it has been said, let’s continue on…  Many people may feel quite weak or vulnerable around certain kinds of food.  They may feel nearly powerless when they see a piece of chocolate cake, and when they start eating it, they just can’t get enough.  It consciously and subconsciously may fill them with a sense of comfort and well-being unmatched by other things in life.  They may begin to feel dependent on such a thing to fulfill a sense of consolation or warmth that helps assuage certain emotions, moods, depressive tendencies, or a wide range of other negative or distressing patterns.

As time goes by, they may begin to develop habits and even rituals around obtaining and consuming these certain kinds of food that they feel help to prop them up.  These foods may actually bring about a sense of euphoria or elevated sense of well-being upon their consumption.  They find themselves consuming more and more, and may begin to plan their daily activities around them.

It’s almost like they can’t fully get thoughts of these certain kinds of food out of their mind.

So let’s focus on the aspect of “certain kinds of food” instead of “food” in general when talking about food addiction or obsession.  And this is the important differentiation to consider when forming an answer to the question presented earlier:

“After all, how can you become addicted to something which you need to sustain yourself?  Food is a necessity, so you can’t just “quit” it entirely like other addictions to substances.”

Although you can’t “quit” food entirely, we feel it is important to address the certain kinds foods that may present a problem for you.

It’s another primary point to evaluate when thinking about the concept of food addiction or obsession in general.  Food in a general sense, meaning the realm of all kinds of edible material out there, is usually not the root of why some people become addicted.  Instead, we feel it is certain kinds of food.  These certain kinds of food, like the chocolate cake used in the previous example, are what seem to be the vehicle for dependency – not the entire realm of food in a general, all-encompassing sense.

When this point is taken into consideration, it may offer a more clear cut definition of the things that, along with the internal emotions and thought patterns, can be focused on as the elements to work on while traveling on the journey toward equilibrium. Understanding this may help clear up some confusion, and can help guide you toward a heightened understanding.

Tags: , ,

Breaking free from the diet…

Jul 8

Posted by Jason in Attitude, Confidence, Finding Your Way, Views On Dieting | 2 Comments

Just as food can become an obsession, so too can dieting.  Why is it that so many of us turn to the latest diet as the cure-all for the weight that we wish to shed?  Could it be that diets in general can become an obsession themselves?

The diet industry is absolutely humongous.  Just one gander at the diet and weight loss shelf in the local bookstore certainly can reinforce this notion!  So obviously this means there must be a large demand.
But again, the question looms:  Why?

Although we can’t provide a definite answer to this, we can offer our hypotheses…

First off, most of them promise “results” within a relatively short period of time.  After all, the desired solution to being overweight is to lose some, isn’t it?  So if a diet can reasonably promise this, then once again it has colored an appealing rainbow where the pot of gold seems within reach.  “It will work this time!”  “I’m going to definitely put my best feet forward 100% this time!”  “I had a friend who knew someone who tried this and it worked!”  “They say it will only take 6 weeks, so what do I have to lose?”

Granted, some of them can work for some people, but with the majority, they many times turn out to be yet another disappointment, and the dieter is catapulted right back into the vicious cycle of feeling ashamed and feeling like a failure.  When these occurrences keep piling up time and time again, it can feel like there’s no way out.  But then, sometimes the only consolation is food.  So old habits can rear their ugly head, put us back on the hamster wheel, and we are left feeling decimated by this whole nightmare.  So then what?  The pot of gold at the end of the dieting rainbow begins to show a faint glimmer again – a glimmer that the next new diet is “the one.”

Doesn’t it maybe sound a bit like what the cycle of overeating itself is like?  Could this and the aspect of dieting be right together in the same boat?  Might it be possible that dieting in and of itself, which is intended to be the solution, might actually be an obsession, and be part of the problem?

Novel subject I know, but doesn’t it leave you to wonder just a bit?

In our opinion, it seems that this common understanding of dieting in general keeps focusing on the outside (weight loss), instead of the inside (emotional eating, habits, and the associated psychology).  When the only thing that keeps getting pressed into our heads is “exercise, exercise, exercise” and “eat this, eat this, and eat only this at these specified amounts at these specified times” and you will feel better and lose weight, then we may feel like that is the only way and is the “normal” way to go about things.  When we try and try and try, yes, they may work in the short term, but when they do not address what’s inside (or if they do, they may only be barely scratching the surface), then we are left feeling powerless, hopeless, and in despair. These feelings can once again take over any good intentions, and then lead us back into the same dark waters.  The intentions of the diet and losing weight were good, but the issues inside were still left alone to fester like an open wound.  And then each futile attempt at dieting just throws more salt on it!

To us, that’s where many diets seem to fail.  So you will keep seeing this focus on the emotional and psychological aspects throughout this blog, because we feel that these are the areas to be addressed first, along with adapting to a way of eating that integrates right into your overall goal of equilibrium in mind, body, and spirit.  It can all start from within – and the weight loss can be just the wonderful by-product!

Tags: , , ,

What if the word “diet” was removed from your vocabulary?

Jul 7

Posted by Jason in Attitude, Avoiding Traps, Finding Your Way, Healthy Lifestyle | No Comments

A good first step toward establishing life-long, sustainable eating habits that will help you reach the healthy goals which you want to achieve may be to take the word “diet” out of your vocabulary.  The reasoning?

Diets are temporary.  Life-long, sustainable eating habits are permanent.  In my opinion, it is this permanence over the long-term which can provide lasting achievement of weight-loss, without all the ups and downs and the other tumult that can come along with dieting.

So let’s look at it this way.  When you stop and really think about the concept of dieting, the context of the word just oozes a sense of being temporary.  “I’m on a diet right now, so I can’t eat that.”  When you’re on a diet, what is it that you are dieting from?

That’s the point to consider.  Obviously, the primary motivating factor for going on a diet is to lose weight.  The goal is to achieve the slimness that you may be looking for.  The “diet” is the vehicle that can get you there.  Conventional thought usually states that once this goal has been achieved, then you can go off the diet.  But then what?

That’s the mystery question.  When the diet is “done,” do you go back to your old eating habits?

When many, if not most diets out there are examined, it can be quite evident that they are not developed to be a long-lasting solution to ensure a continuity and gradual sense of weight loss.  Many of the methods used may actually be unhealthy for the body.  Some of the plans may only offer prescribed foods that you absolutely despise.  Others may require that you only eat a certain manufactured product, and they can be quite expensive.

As a result, a good number of diets cannot be sustained over a lifetime, nor do they touch other areas that we believe to be so important – the emotional and psychological aspects behind overeating.

In other words, this may point to some reasons why so many diets don’t leave the dieter in the happy place that he or she is seeking – they may not be addressing a transformative shift into life-long, healthy equilibrium.  Instead, they may be only offering a quick fix.

And a quick fix may not be the solution.

Now we are not here to offer and tell you to go on another “plan.”  What we do suggest though is to think critically, deeply, and to keep an open mind.  Most of all, we want to help people overcome the negative emotions, stereotypes, societal conditioning, and misunderstandings that can be the propellers toward unhealthy, detrimental eating habits.

Furthermore, we want to help you to be able to feel good about yourself, to take care of yourself, and to help you look outside of the hamster wheel of the conventional sense of “dieting” toward a reality which can help you achieve an emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical equilibrium that will have the resulting natural effect of losing weight, and keeping it off.

And this all starts with you and your beautiful self.  This will be your own journey, and you will find the way that’s right for you.  It may not be easy, but a transformation of this sort tends not to be.  But it’s not going to be hard either.  Just keep your spirits up and keep an open mind.  Put diets past behind you, and look toward the success you can create in the future.

Tags: , , ,

Powered by Yahoo! Answers